• Your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
• Your family breaks into violence during the UM / MSU game.
• At least 50% of your relatives work in the auto industry.
• You point at the palm of your right hand when telling people
  where you grew up.
• You don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
• Someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer,
  "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor."
• "Down South" to you means Toledo.
• The Big Three means Ford, Chrysler and GM.
• You know that a Big Mac is something you drive across.
• You have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
• Your kids' baseball game has ever been snowed out.
• All the trees in your backyard have spigots.
• You bake with "soda" and drink "pop."
• You know what a pastie is.
• Your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
• You have a favorite hockey team.
• You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
• You know how to play Euchre.
• Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
• You think alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
• You get a passport to go to Ohio.

From John F. formerly of Dearborn:

• You sometimes drive south to get to Canada.
• You know what lake-effect snow is.
• You have been to Hell.
• You have been in Hell when the lake is frozen over.
• You know there's no fire in Hell, but there are mosquitos.
• You have been to Cadillac in your Cadillac, to Plymouth in your Plymouth, to Pontiac in your Pontiac, to Hudson in your Hudson, and parked your Lincoln in Lincoln Park.
• You check manhole covers and iron grates to see if they were made by the East Jordan Iron Works.
• You have ridden the Bob-Lo boat.
• You know that General George Custer was born in Monroe.
• You know what "Ypsi" is.
• You have been to Gibralter, Holland, Vienna, Paris and Johannesburg without a passport.
• Your address is "Beverly Hills 48025."

From Jim H.:

• You think that Canadians have weird accents.
• You know who Juergen Shrempp is.
• You eat Land O'Lakes butter with pride.
• Canada Dry is not acceptable as "ginger ale."
• Yoopers seem to be from somewhere besides Michigan.
• You know what Eastern, Central, Western and Northern are.
• Boyne is an alternative to Vail or Breckenridge.
• Business trips to Canada only require $2.25 and a car.

From Kevin K.:

• Bratwurst Day in Sheboygan is a paid holiday.

From Rob C. of Portage:

• Your school is closed on the first day of deer season.
• If asked how you are doing, you reply, "Fair to Midland."
• You know that the "x" in Charlevoix is silent.
• Your winter home is an ice fishing shanty.
• Premium label beers for your family were Carling Black Label, Blatz and Goebel's.
• You've ever had to pull over downtown so that a combine could pass your car.
• In October, you could be wearing either shorts or a snowmobile suit.